“When my father and mother forsake me, The Lord will take care of me…” Ps 27:10

David’s credentials as one of the greatest men in history are many: his outstanding bravery in battle, his wisdom in governance, and his ability to unify and create a national identity out of a people who had been scattered and oppressed for hundreds of years. Recall the time when he took up an offering to build the temple. His own sacrifices and generosity inspired the Israelites so much he had to restrain them from giving! His military prowess caused the women to dance and sing in the streets. His commanders risked their lives just to bring him a cup of water. No wonder we revere and emulate his leadership three thousands years later.

His elevation did not coming easily. David had faced lions and bears. He famously slayed Goliath. His own king threw spears at him to try to kill him, then chased him around the forests and wilderness areas of Judea for seven years. Time and time again, with fearless tenacity he defied the odds in battle. These experiences all proved and purified David’s character as he passed test after test on the road to becoming a man of and for the people of Israel.

And yet, I suspect David’s hardest test was with his family. Although it is in the background of his story, it was likely in the foreground of his heart. While there is no joy like family joy, there is also no pain like family pain. We see from David’s example, this too was a battle that he fought with vigilance and conviction. Sure, he was far from perfect. He made huge mistakes. He sinned. But he never gave up. He believed he would see the goodness of God in the land of the living; and for this reason alone he never lost heart, but remained confident (Ps 27:13,14). 

David’s family battles were fought on every front: with parents, siblings, wife, and children. The first time we meet David was the biggest day in his family’s history. The great Prophet Samuel, the man used by God to anoint Israel’s first king, to whom the King himself was subject, came to sacrifice in David’s town, and visit his own home. Armed with the horn of the anointing oil, Samuel had come to the house of Jesse to find the future king of Israel. As each of his seven brothers passed before Samuel to be blessed and considered for the nation’s highest honor, where was David? Left out in the fields watching a few sheep. 

Beloved, that hurts! When Samuel asked Jesse if he had any other sons, he responded by saying the “smallest” was with the animals. This Hebrew word does not mean youngest. It means unimportant, insignificant, base. Maybe his dad disdained him for his singing and song writing? Whatever the case, David was neglected, rejected, or as he says in Ps 27:10, forsaken. 1 Sam 17:20 says they had servants who could have been taking care of this menial task. Many have become bitter and resentful for much less. Many are plagued with spirits of rejection, insecurity, and inferiority because of such treatment. Not David.

It wasn’t just his parents either. Some time later, David’s three oldest brothers were sent to war. Jesse sent David to the front to bring food and supplies to his brothers, and gifts to their captains to honor them. As David arrives with these goodies to refresh his brothers, there is no gratitude in his oldest brother Eliab’s heart; only fury. His cutting, mocking response was venomous:

“With whom did you leave those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart…” (17:28)

Ouch. The person I most respected after my father growing up was my oldest brother. Such bitter criticism and derision can be crippling. To think that David would rise to such heights of historical reverence and yet his own parents and siblings were blind to his maturity, courage, or skills, is hard to believe. David achieved greatness despite being raised in a family that could not see the tremendous potential in him, but instead belittled and misjudged him.

After fleeing for his life and hiding in a cave, 400 social misfits and ticked off men chose to join him in what easily could have become a 9th century BC pity party. I wonder if David considered if it might be better to face Saul’s vengeful spear throwing! Right in the midst of this craziness, an easy to miss phrase is inserted into the record of scripture that bit me like a doberman many years ago, and has yet to let go.

“when his brothers and all his father’s house heard it, they went down there to him.” (1 Sam 22:1b)

Despite their former appraisal of the runt of the family, David’s brothers and parents all chose to flee to David, even if it meant living in a stone-cold cave alongside his motley companions. And David received them. David took care of them. Despite the injustice and undeserved ridicule he had suffered from them, David forgave them. Knowing how they had maligned and mistreated him over a period of years, they might have felt reticent or embarrassed to humble themselves and ask for David’s help. Still they came, convinced he would not repay them for the wrongs they had done, but receive them with open arms.

David is esteemed as great not only because he defeated giants or hordes of Philistines. He faced enemies that would have slain lesser men, that sought to divide and destroy his most cherished relationships: those of his own family. He guarded his heart from harboring resentment, deciding rather to take his hurts and lay them at the feet of his God and Redeemer. These are exactly the things that attracted God’s affection, making him the only person honored in scripture as being a “man after God’s own heart” (Acts 13:22).