My dad passed away peacefully on Oct 8th after two months of illness. Adair is survived by his bride of 64 years, Dorothy, and three sons: Steven (Sue), Mitchell (Debbie), and Kevin (Joyce). A fourth son, Curtis is survived by his wife Mary Kay. Adair was born on May 3, 1937 to Ralph and Lonie. He outlived his two siblings, Everton (Margie) and Hester (Al). He also had thirteen grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.

Adair (Ad) and Dorothy (Dot) had known each other since grade school, and attended High School together where Ad was the captain of the basketball team, and graduated as Valedictorian. After marrying his childhood sweetheart, Ad attended university, and upon graduation worked as a civil servant until his retirement.

Adair was a jack of all trades. Raised on a farm, he loved engines and was self-taught in all manner of mechanical, electrical, carpentry, and heating systems. As a leader of the Methodist Youth Fellowship (MYF), to the days he was Trustee of the Methodist Church, or a member of the choir, he quietly lived an exemplary life of faith. He loved to hunt, fish, and camp, or lead the whole family by motorcycle or snowmobiles on trails through Vermont’s forests. For thirty years, Ad and Dot were avid square and round dancers.

Here is the eulogy I shared at his funeral: 

As I offer I tribute to my father, I would like to begin by making a brief comment about the hymns we have sung, and in particular the last hymn. This speaks to the quiet faith of my father. You see, when we were young, many nights after dinner dad would retire to the piano to play hymns. Sometimes we’d sing along. Seeds were dropped in my spirit in those days which grew and grew until one day I knew that I would serve God, or to be exact, my father’s God. This faith gave Dad in life, to the very end of his life, a kind of Blessed Assurance. He was sure of himself. He was even more sure in his God. Which meant that whether in life, or in death, Dad had a quiet confidence about everything and anything that would come his way. This was confirmed by an email I got a week ago from an elder from the Crossroads Christian Church i East Montpelier. The email was sent at 2:21 am, and it reads: 

I was up early this morning praying as God has laid you deeply in my heart. This wonderful classic and powerful hymn came to the fore  front of my mind. May God’s baptism of Love and Assurance and Peace immerse you all  with His comfort through this season of life.

“ Blessed Assurance” (words to the song)

     This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior all the day long: This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior all the day long.

     This is Adair’s story, this is Adair’s song, Praising his Savior all the day long: This is Adair’s story, this is Adair’s song, Praising his Savior all the day long.

I have chosen as the title of my message “Blessed are the meek.” Most of you will recognize this as coming from the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus spoke about 8 attitudes (we call them beatitudes), which godly people should exhibit. I could have chosen any number of them for this message: pure in heart (who shall see God, which of course Dad is doing right now), merciful, peacemaker…but of all the qualities which best described Adair Alan Graves, meekness perhaps fit him best. Meekness is similar to humble; as a meek man dad did not want to draw attention to himself, rather, he sought opportunities to credit others, but did so because he is a man under constraint. Dad was a strong man. And meekness is definitely not weakness (Moses was said to be the meekest man on earth in his day), A meek person is stable and exerts a tremendous amount of influence, all without needing to assert himself. His presence influences. His character evokes loyalty. His words though few command attention, and action. This helps us to understand how such a quiet and gentle man could be the captain of his Basketball team or a leader of the Methodist Youth Fellowship in the State. 

This is why Jesus said that the meek “inherit the earth”. Things are added to them. They become Valedictorians, they are continually recommended for promotions (as Dad was in his work). These words actually come from Psalm 37, where it says in v. 11 “The meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace”. This also is an apt description of Dad. Much “inheritance” is lost through fretting, and strife, and he had none of these! The psalm goes on to say that the enemies of a meek person ultimately give up. It’s hard to stay upset with someone who is perpetually sweet and unperturbed in return! 

I hope we ALL can learn this lesson from Dad. He was a meek man. A man of peace. A man with whom God was pleased, whom God supported, for whom He fought. He was a man whom God favored. Yes, these things all describes my father. 

Last week I happened to read Psalm 112 which speaks about the inheritance or heritage of a Righteous man. 

  The Lord blesses the righteous man
who worships him and gladly
obeys his teachings.

Their descendants will have
great influence in the land,
because the Lord blesses
all who live righteously.

They will get rich and prosper
and will always be remembered
for their fairness.

They will be so kind
and merciful and good,
that they will be a light
in the dark for others
who do the right thing.

Life will go well for those
who freely lend
and conduct their affairs with discretion.

They won’t ever be troubled,
and the kind things they do
will never be forgotten.

I thought of Dad the whole time. The Psalm talks about the affect that a Righteous person has upon his family, his community, upon his friends and even those who would oppose him. So who is a righteous person, you might ask? He is a person who loves God, and loves his neighbors as himself. He is a person who does the right things before God, and who does the right things by those around him. A righteous person is someone whom you trust implicitly, because you know that he is the same person in public and in secret. He is a person whose words and his actions are exactly the same.

The other day, I made the observation that over the course of my life, I had never heard Dad speak an unkind or harsh word to or about anyone. Immediately Steve and my mom chimed in in agreement, though Mom in classic Vermont humor said that sometimes she’d say it for him. Truth is, none of us kids could have imagined a better example of a Father, or a Husband. Think about how remarkable that is! 

I cannot imagine a more selfless person. Although my Father worked for the IRS for all the years from his graduation at UVM until retirement, we all know that his REAL job began after he got out of work, or on the weekends. He gave himself tirelessly to building, or fixing things for other people, for the community, for friends, and especially for his family. Dad, not many have lived a life like you! You were amazing! We will always remember you. We will forever carry the depth of adoration and respect for the life you lived while you were here. Thank you!!!

You are no longer here with us, though your spirit and your memory lives on and will continue to impact us all. The Righteous have an everlasting remembrance. If there is anyone who has earned a WELCOME and a rich reward in the next life, it is you. Rest In Peace, Dad. 

Blessed Assurance, if Jesus is yours. Family and friends who have gathered here to memorialize Adair Alan Graves, may his story be our story. May his song be our song. May each one of us here today also obtain the blessed assurance that he had, so that when the last trumpet sounds, we may all be gathered together to join in with the angels the eternal songs of love and adoration to the beloved Son of God, in whose name we pray. Amen.